When a family of lions was walking through the jungle, they came upon a campsite that some hunters had fled in a hurry, leaving behind an unopened jar of food.
Naturally the lions wanted to get to what was inside, but the jar was quite tightly sealed.
You know how the lions finally get the jar unsealed? They pride it off.
A very rich man kept a pair of lions to guard his property. Each of them took turns being on duty.
One night, a group of midgets tried to rob him but the lion on patrol caught them and ate them.
When the police arrived, the sergeant asked skeptically, "Well, so where is this group of midgets you say broke in?"
The rich man pointed proudly to his guardians and said, "It's all in the lion of duty."
(John S. Crosbie)
Extra Bonus Joke:
A man was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running toward him.
He stopped one of the runners and asked, "What's happening?"
The runner replied breathlessly, "A lion has escaped from the city zoo."
"Oh no! Which way is it heading?"
"Well, you don't think we're chasing it, do you?"